Our Miracles (cont.)

The early weeks of my pregnancy seem like a blur as I look back now, but at the time it was all I could do to make it from appointment to appointment. The only thing that kept me okay was that I was so busy with work and school. I decided I better work full time to off set the bed rest that was a possibility. so I worked my butt off while I could. 28 hours as an aide on skilled and 8 hours as an extern in ob. School was a whole other thing. I was studying for finals and for boards. I remember during reviews and tests having to run out of the room to puke. I was so very nautious. But I was glad that I was because I knew that it was a good thing. it meant that I had a healthy pregnancy. Yet the sight of my prenatal vitamin in the a.m. was enough to keep my head in the toilet for a good 30 minutes. At one point I had busted about every blood vessel in my left eye and it looked not just blood shot but it looked like it was filled with blood. I dont think there was a speck of white left in it. ::sheww:: I promised myself that this was as bad as it gets, and that I would never have anymore kids. A nurse I worked with on skilled told me the horror stories that she was that sick her entire 9 months of pregnancy, and I thought for sure I was going to die if that was the case. Then thank God for the nurses I work with in OB because they reassured me that was rare and it should get better by about 16 weeks or so and that I would have amnesia about how bad it was. They were so right.

My first u/s date was wrong. it was on March 26. My second was on April 9th. Here are some journal entries from the first few weeks.

4-9-08: 7-8 weeks along. Had ultrasound in Evansville today. Matt was with me. They grew so much in just 2 weeks. They are now the size of lima beans. My due date is now Nov. 21st. This is the first time we saw heartbeats. Baby B 178 bpm and Baby A 174 bpm. Everything looked great so we were released to go to Dr. Miller in Jasper. It was such a relief to see their little hearts beating. God is so good!

4-23-08: 9-10 weeks along. Once again they have grown so much. They look like teddy grahams now. So cute. They actually look like babies now. I'm getting more confident that everything is going to be okay with the babies. the heart rates were 150's for both and they were dancing around a lot on the screen. So amazing!!! Matt went with me again. I really like Dr. Miller.

5-11-08: I was having LLQ pain so I called and ththey had me come in for an u/s. Turned out to just be a cyst on my right ovary...go figure! Baby A outgrew baby B. I am 12 weeks and baby a measures 13 weeks 2 days. They were already sucking their thumbs.

I fell in love with them more with every new thing that they did on that screen. I just couldn't imagine myself with two babies of my own. I remember standing in the nursery at work one day when I was about 8 weeks along and looking at a baby when I was getting his vitals. wow! I'm going to have this. x 2!!! no way. and it hit me all over again. I knew every day that I was so blessed to be given the opportunity to be a mom to these two precious little babies. I couldn't believe that I ws given the opportunity though. It all seemed so surreal.

By about week fourteen a nurse at work did an ultrasound on me and my friend amanda. We were due just 4 days apart, and were both having twins. It was so perfect. I got to see her little miracles and she got to see mine. I was up first. I laid on the bed in LDR 6. lights were out. I was nervous and I dont know why. I hadn't anticipated finding out the sex of our babies, because I always wanted matt to be with me. I just mainly wanted to make sure their hearts were still beating. Even though I had faith I was always nervous that they wouldn't be there the next time I had an ultrasound. But sure enough, God is good, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw their little hearts ticking away. Marci asked me if I wanted to know what they were and I was like...."for real? you can tell already?" I was under the impression that I wouldn't find out until week 18. I went back and forth and back and forth, I really wanted Matt to be there but I really wanted to know. Then I could pick out names, buy clothes, decorate the nursery, etc. Well, I caved. She looked real close at baby B. She pointed to something on the screen and said see that? I did....it was a BOY!!!!!!! She said she would bet her paycheck on it. I told her I would hold her to it. :) Then she went back to baby A. she said..."hmm....I wasn't sure the first time I looked at this one, but, ohhh yeah....I'm sure now." I was so excited because that's secretly what I wanted all along. Girls kind of scare me. Don't know why. they just do. I think I would be a better mommy to boys than girls. when she was done with the ultrasound, I got off the table and jumped up and down, I got pictures of them and I was so excited to go home and show Matt. I hoped he wouldn't be mad, though. (~Amanda~I knew your's were girls all along, because they looked so different from mine at that ultrasound.) I made her promise not to tell anyone, because Matt needed to know first. well, before I came back out to the nurses station, everyone knew. Apparently my boys are well endowed. I got mad when ppl were talking about it because they were just my little babies...don't talk about them like that. now I look back laughing.

I drove home on cloud nine again. Just when I think it can't get any better, something proves me wrong. I was so anxious and nervous to tell Matt what I had done. I got home and he was sitting on the couch. I said "I did something at work...don't get mad." Matt:"what?!?" Me: "I know what the babies are. do you want to know?" Matt:"you found out?" Me:"Yah, sorry. I couldn't help it." I showed him the ultrasound pics, and I just must have a nack for seeing things in them because to me everything was perfectly clear and to him it was just a jumble of asses and elbows. lol. I said they're both the same. (this made him happy) I pointed to it and said, see...they're boys!! He was very happy and hugged me and said "we knew it all along." I said "yup!" (There's never been a girl born into his family as far back as we can trace.)